Tuesday, December 27, 2005

 

Before they were Action Stars.

Everybody knows that you can't just become a famous action star over night. You have to pay your dues, and gradually become the stud that saves the day and gets the girl. Well, before all of the stardom of badassedness, most actors play a wide array of roles before finding their style. After a litte bit of research, I have found some of these movies. CAUTION: After seeing these movie posters, you might not look at your hero the same way.

Lets Get Started.



PORTLY PERRY starring RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON
The adventure is just around the corner and nobody knows what will happen next! When "Portly" Cornelius Perry (Richard Dean Anderson) unknowingly swallows a top secret governemnt computer chip, it becomes a race of who can find him first. Perry doesn't know a war is waging between the US government and Columbian drug lords. All he knows is that he wants a donut, and he wants it now. Don't miss all of the wacky shenanigans as Perry avoids being captured, and shoots for his goal of eating 3 dozen donuts.


THIS CLEAN LOVE starring CHUCK NORRIS
Gerald Nichols (Chuck Norris) is an ex-cab driver with Obssesive Compulsive Disorder. Kim Kim (Michelle Kwan)is a dirty Asian immigrant who is scared of cab drivers due to recent events in her life. Both most conquer their fears when Kim Kim is mugged and left for dead on the street. When Gerald finds her bloody beaten body, he must carry her to the local hospital. When Kim Kim awakens and finds out an ex-cabbie saved her life she is torn. Together they teach one another how to love.


WITHIN JURISDICTION starring STEVAN SEAGAL
CIA agent Jack Taggart (Stevan Seagal) is caught up in the middle of a power struggle. Yakuza gang members kidnap and murder his family, then pin the blame on him. They do a good job at it too. Taggart goes to jail and serves a life sentence. In prison, he gets beaten and battered on a regular basis. He eventually dies in the electric chair at age 72.


LOGSPLITTERS starring SHAWN MICHAELS
Shawn Michaels goes deep in this gay porno. Wait, this is something he still does. Shawn Michaels might be one of the gayest people ever. Seriously, how can you look at this guy and not think to yourself, "This is the gayest man alive!"

Right on,
UberBrian
mankitten120@hotmail.com

Comments:
So are Shawn Michael flicks going to be the next movies that uberred will attempt to collect?
 
Actually, Portly Perry is his already. I just scanned his dvd case. As far as I know, he doesn't have any Shawn Michaels movies. I heard though that Bingman said he "had seen that one before."
 
and by "before", he meant every night....right?
 
now that is some pure bordem genius. "they took his family... they took idenity... he took 25 to life." pure genius.

i told you yesterday xcloser2godx that when i get the shawn michaels dvd's in the mail i'll let you borrow them for as long as you want.
 
Sweet! I'll burn copies so everyone can have a peek.
 
Dang it..I just got burned 5 days ago and had absolutely no clue

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