Friday, April 28, 2006


OEAJ Update

Talking Great Squirrel Massacre Blues FINALLY has enough reviews to be ranked. It busted out of the gates with 4.8/5 stars. And is ranked #15 on the comedy chart.

Also, Jonny, Won't You Do Me? has surpassed Country Drinken. I have heard rumers of a Jonny, Won't You Do Me 2, however nothing has been confirmed.

Also, Also, we have a new song up on our MySpace site, and UberBrenton has started another site HERE

UPDATE: I just found out that Country Drinkin will be Track of the Week. Follow the badge on the left side of this page.

Thursday, April 27, 2006


Uber Fan Post: Fat Chicks

I hate fat girls who have a friend that is hot and someone would say stuff like: "whoa, she has big boobs doesn't she" to which her friends comment to that with "she isn't fat she, she is just big." Give it a rest I can answer both of those questions with the same statement. It is FAT, and assorted toilet paper (I can see the clumps).

Also I hate fat chicks who wear thongs and tight clothes, and as you sit there looking at them, as you would a nasty barracuda ripping a fish apart, they say "stop looking at me you sicko" then get mad as I retort "You make me glad chicks like you go bulimic."

UberFan Tim M.

(Disclaimer: If this fan rant offends you....suck it up wuss. Tim M. is not directly affiliated with UberHaters. UberHaters may or may not agree with this statement, but will offer an outlet for it to be said.)


Street Signs I Hate

The deer sign on the highway really pisses me off for some reason. The yellow sign with a deer jumping wouldn't bother me, but the little sign under it that says "next five miles" that pisses me off. If you think that you should only watch for deer for the next five miles in Southern Illinois or Indiana or the midwest anywhere you are a retard. Next five miles, the deer didn't get the memo, those damn things are everywhere, I hit one and there was no warning sign anywhere. How dumb are the people putting those signs up, and how do they distinguish where the deer zones should be and for how long. Deer herds sometimes migrate, usually not far but I'm sure they don't stay in their assigned zones. So if they're not in the zone that the sign assigns can we sue the state, I say we should, they assured you that there would only be deer for a few more miles, so after the five mile point speed up and let your gaurd down. Retard.

Another sign that makes no sense is the "Speed Zone Ahead," if you are on the road you are in a speed zone. Perhaps it should say "New Speed Zone Ahead." The reduce speed sign is much better, but not always used.

Why is the welcome to Illinois sign a half mile into our border, there should be a sign in the middle of the bridge that is two sided, one side, from Indiana to Illinois should say Welcome to Illinois, the other, in the opposite direction stating that you are welcome in Indiana.

I guess these guys are not thinking while they lean on their gently used shovel. Maybe we could have the end of their shovels fashioned in the same style as a crutch, I don't want them to get sore afterall.

Feel free to add any signs that I may have missed, these were the ones I saw today.

This isn't so much a specific sign...but I hate the randomness of the construction signs on highways and interstates. Sometimes you will come to a sign that says "Construction, next 5 miles" but then there is no construction. 5 miles later, there is a "End construction zone". Other times there WILLl be construction, only when you get the "End construction zone" sign, and your glad to be done....100 yards down the road, you get to another "Construction, next 5 miles" sign. -UberBrian


Wednesday, April 26, 2006


What The Hell Are You Thinking?

It only makes sense, that when you are a clothes company, you have pictures of models wearing your clothes. However, I've never seen an Abercrombie & Fitch ad where a guy is wearing a shirt. A&F, What the hell are you thinking?

When I watch videos of rollerbladers trying to railslide, I laugh when they fall on the bar and bust their balls. Why would you do something where that scenario is more than probable? Guys, what the hell are you thinking?

Kids who dress up as a Star Trek crew member for Halloween. Seriously, what the hell are you thinking?

People who buy a $1,000 car, then proceed to invest over $1,000 in parts. What's the point? I mean, it's cool to get like, a '68 Camaro and fix it up...but a 1992 Honda Civic? What the hell are you thinking?

When someone goes to McDonalds and gets a Double Quarter Pounder meal Supersized with a couple apple pies, but then makes it a point to order a diet soda....what the hell are you thinking?

People who constantly blame George W. Bush for every single thing that happens in America. I mean come on, there are three parts of our government people, and Bush only heads up one of them. When American Idol is the #1 show on TV for 3 years, I think an ignorant president is just a drop in the bucket. What the hell are you thinking?

Suri Cruise.....What the hell are you thinking?

Hot girls that wear tight little low cut shirts and pants that show off their boobs and butts, but then think I'm a perv for looking at their boobs and butts...what the hell are you thinking?

A few years ago, Comedy Central took Saturday Night Live off, and replaced it with the most unfunny show on earth....Mad TV. And it's still on. Comedy Central...what the hell are you thinking?

Girls on Myspace who get all dressed up and strike a sexy pose, but then take pictures of themselve, in the mirror, with their camera phone. What the hell are you thinking?

Guys who spend 30 minutes a day shaving all these geometric designs in their facial hair...what the hell are you thinking?

Tony Danza and how he keeps doing things with his name in it, like ExtravaDANZA!...what the hell are you thinking?

Heavy metal bands where the singer sings so low and so garbled you could never ever understand what he was saying. Why do they even bother writing lyrics. What the hell are you thinking?

People who keep visiting this blog...what the hell are you thinking?

Tuesday, April 25, 2006


UberHater Update

Our page view counter has messed up again. We have had about 3,000 hits on this site, and now I have to get a new one. Well, I'm not gonna get it from the same people that is a fore shore. Also, I plan on adding some eye candy to this place once I get the time and get my computers at home back up.

Also, since new posts have been rather slow lately, feel free to send in a rant or story to Make sure it's arrogant. We don't want no wishy washy story that saves the feelings of some schmuck. Remember, if it doesn't offend SOMEONE, your not being creative enough.

Also, Also, UberBrenton thought up a pretty funny joke the other day. Maybe he will post it right...HERE

"what's the difference between katie holmes' brain and michael moore's crotch?
katie's brain has been washed in the last year."

HAHAHAHAHA....good joke UberBrenton, good one.


I Hate Smokers!

If you ask me one of the most disgusting things one can do is smoke. That is why I CHOOSE not to smoke. Now then, if someone wants to smoke, that is fine by me, they can do what they want IN THEIR HOME. But, whenever their hobby/vice enters my personal space, we have a problem.

Here lately, states have been passing laws that make smoking in public places not allowed. This makes me very happy. Now there are some places where I expect smoke to be, so I don't get to upset with it. I still might decide not to go there because of it, but that is ME making a choice again.

Where these laws are excellent is restaraunts. Even though most places have smoking sections, that doesn't always work. Smoke still gets into the air creating a horrible smell in general. And there is always the whisp of air that blows smoke your way so you get a nice whiff of it while your eating. Smoking should not be allowed in restaraunts at all. Now then, if any of you smokers think my idea is stupid, and I am a jackass for thinking this, you just let me know. I will be glad to come sit at the table next you in a restaraunt. Get ready for me to be farting the whole time too. If your gonna make me smell your horrible offensive odors, you're gonna be smelling mine too.

When it comes to bars, smoking is just part of the territory. But damn, I can't be in a bar for more than an hour before my eyes start to water and get all red. THEN, when you leave, your clothes smell terrible. So, I just don't go to bars anymore.

Our family business is no smoking. We don't allow people to smoke inside. If they want to go outsite to smoke, feel free, but not inside. I got into an argument one time with someone who thought they had THE RIGHT to smoke in our place. NO, YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO SHIT IN OUR PLACE! We open up our business to the public and are happy to do so, but it is still private property. We like to take care of our things, and we don't really feel like having yellow curtains, walls, and ceilings along with musty smelling furniture.

I wish tobacco companies would just make their products really powerful, so smokers will hurry up and get lung cancer and smoke themselves to death. The problem would phase itself out and everyone would be happy. I hate smokers...HATE THEM. Not just because they smoke, but because they think they have the right to smoke anywhere they want and us non-smokers are being intolerant of their ways. Guess what. I AM BEING INTOLERANT. There are many things that I can Tolerate. But you smokers.....I hate every single stinking skanky ass one of you .

Monday, April 24, 2006


A list of my own

I noticed there hasn't been a new post in a while, so i'm going to rant a little. Trace Adkins' "honky tonk badonkadonk" is the worst song ever recorded. I know I'm in OEAJ and some of our songs are pretty stupid (yet somehow genius), but that song actually gets played on the radio.

Here's something i've been putting a lot of thought into lately:

Top 5 Guys I'd go gay for:
1. Johnny Depp (He's dreamy)
2. George Clooney (best looking guy to get an oscar this year)
3. Sean Connery (He's even sexier as an old man)
4. Jude Law (I'd like to be his kids' nanny)
5. Todd Nelson (I don't even have to explain that one)

I'm not saying I'm gay, but if I was... you know.

signed, Uberbrenton

Tuesday, April 11, 2006


My Celeb Hate List

This is just a small list of the ones I could think of off the top of my head. And a few words about each. These also are in no specific order.
1. Oprah- Your no Dr. Phil but sometimes your conclusions make less sense than his.
2. Missy Elliott- I got nothing to say to you.
3. Macy Gray- I just hate her.
4. Carson Daily- Your show is just embarrassing.
5. Lil Bow Wow- I just hate you. And you remind me of The Famous Jett Jackson.
6. Paris Hilton- Your no hotter or better than any other skinny blonde. You Suck.
7. Johnny Depp- He just wierd. I alway think he is getting ready to molest someone. Go Away.
8. Ben Affleck- Your nothing without Matt Damon. And even less without Lopez.
9. Mel Gibson- Where did Martin Riggs go?
10. Lance Armstrong- The only thing he rides better than his bike is that story about how he beat cancer, let it go, the world is tired of your sob story.



One thing about Cops

The one thing about cops that I personally don't understand is, why can't they wear tennis shoes? Dress shoes for their profession does not make sense. Now I know that the individual cops do not choose the uniform, but in my own opinion they would be able to perform their jobs much better if allowed to wear shoes that were comfortable and allowed them to run at full speed. Some regulations are just stupid.

Monday, April 10, 2006


This is slowly becoming the "Anti Tom Cruise" Blog

I was looking at some of the inserts in this weeks sunday paper. Most of the time, they go directly to the garbage...but this time one caught my eye. It was our good ol' buddy Tom Cruise, and the caption was a quote from him asking "Who's to say what's normal?" I thought I would answer that question with..."Me, I say what's normal, and you my friend, are not normal." I am now going to read this article and type my opinion on it.

Ah, says here "...he upbraided actress Brooke Shields for taking antidepressants to treat postpartum depression and later ranted against medically-prescribed drugs and psychiatry on NBC's Today. 'I've never agreed with psychiatry, ever,' he declared. 'It's pseudo-science." For those who are curious gives the definition of pseudo as "being apparently rather than actually as stated." By this I am interpreting cruises statement as meaning the following.

Patient: I have this problem, what should I do?
Psychiatrist: Eh, I'm not real sure...maybe you should listen to Tom Cruise, because I don't really know...I am just guessing here.

"Cruise...grew up in near poverty in a Catholic family dominated by an abusive father he described as "a merchant of chaos." His father was an electrical engineer who could never hold down a job and kept the family on the move in a restless search for work." he grew up in NEAR poverty family DOMINATED by an abusive father constantly looking for work. So, his dad was a guy trying to find a job so he could support his family. He had trouble and surely got frustrated. On top of that you have a couple little kids bugging you. hhhmmmm...I don't see how that could be a recipe for disaster. Sounds like a lot of families actually. I wouldn't call it "Normal", but I also wouldn't call it "Uncommon."

hhmm...he was enrolled in 15 different schools in 12 years. Alright, I'll give him that one...that would be pretty tough.

aaahhh....when he was a kid he had trouble reading and was diagnosed as being dyslexic. This apparantly made him mad because he was "labelled" and this is where his contempt for psychiatry started. Did I mention he was 7 when this happened? Oh yeah...he was 7. I remember one time when I was 7, I went to the doctor and he said "Brian, I think you might be sick." As soon as he said that, I remember thinking, "Oh whatever sir. Your hypothesis and prognosis is based on pure assumption with no proper assertation of a medicaly bias diagnosis." and have immediately dismissed doctors ever since. So I can relate with ol' Tom. I guess after this happend, he starting studying psychiatry and realized it was nothing but labels. Yeah...all of this at 7.

Ya know...I really don't feel like finishing this article considering his life is based on research he did when he was 7 years old.

Sunday, April 02, 2006


OEAJ Update

Talking Great Squirrel Massacre Blues has been awarded track of the day for April 8. Follow the link on the left to hear the song.

Also, Country Drinkin has moved on to round 2, and is currently #12 on the comedy chart.

Also Also, BAWAM is still in the top 10 for best lyrics all-time on the Rock chart. Check it out HERE

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