Wednesday, December 21, 2005

 

The little things in life (that bother me) Vol. 2

It’s all the little things in life...that piss me off. Here is a list of things that make me mad on a regular basis.

• Trying to open a drawer, but there is something inside that keeps hitting the drawer frame, and you can’t open the drawer.

• When you go to sharpen a pencil, and it never sharpens, but your pencil keeps getting shorter until your left with a nub eraser stick.

• New Harmony, Indiana. Historic?...more like boring as shit.

• People who smack their lips when eating food or chewing gum.

• How 100% of the time, your trying to plug something in to an electrical outlet, and the big plug never lines up with the big hole.

• Women who put on hand lotion, then instantly open a door, just so later you grab the door knob and it is all greasy.

• Soft drink fountain machines in restaurants where you push the cup against a lever to refill your cup. Thats gross. Just like people who put their lips on the water fountain.

• Locks on storm doors. Honestly, who locks their storm door on purpose!?

• Even though you’ve lived in your house for many years, you still flip the wrong light switch.

• When someones dog is totally a mut, but they insist on nameing it a special breed like Cocka-pika-poo, or Colli-husky-bull-pit-shit Terrier.

• When you are drinking an iced beverage, and there is not much liquid left, so you lift the glass up to get that last drop and all the ice comes crashing down on your face and you feel stupid for not seeing it coming, even though it happens all the time.

• iPods

• People who sit at the toll bridge and just chat with the people in the booth.

• I know it’s cliche, but seriously, how do I always have an odd number of socks after I’ve done laundry.

• When you and someone else are watching TV, you just turn the channel to a new show, and the other person asks whats going on in the show. HEY DUMMY, I’VE SEEN JUST AS MUCH AS YOU!

• When people mispronounce common words.

• Every single thing about Abercrombie & Fitch, and everyone that has anything to do with it. F*** YOU! F*** YOU 1000%.

• People who never stop clapping because they have to be the last person to clap.

• How come, when designing public bathrooms, they still haven’t figured out to put the door in so you can just push the door open with your foot when leaving instead of re-contaminating your hand by pulling the door open.

• When you can’t find something in the fridge and you KNOW it’s in there.

• When you cut or scrape yourself in the summer, and you just can’t keep gnats away from it.

• When people are pointing to something on a computer screen, and they touch it leaving a smudgy print on the screen. Most people do this unkowingly, but they do it none the less.

• Female drivers. Face it ladies...you can’t drive, have never been able to, and you never will be able to. If it were up to me, you wouldn’t be allowed to drive...or vote for that matter. naah, I’m just kidding, but seriously.

• How cheetos are SOO good, but you have to use an acid wash to get the cheesy powder off your finger tips.

• The stoplight at Main St. and Plum.

• Being politically correct. F*** all that.

Right on,
UberBrian
mankitten120@hotmail.com

Comments:
In regards to you being bothered by soda foutains. I've honestly been in a subway where a family of handy's walked in, the kids started licking the bottom of the nozzle where the drink comes out.

Seriously, how do you approach a tard, about their tard kid acting tardy like. I'd be afraid I'd put ideas in the tard parent.

Cue the moral music from Full House. So I left, never to eat there again.
 
I like iPods. But the gum thing is my Pet Peeve. No, that is too soft. The gum thing is my Pet Grounds For Manslaughter.
 
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