Saturday, December 10, 2005

 

The original reality show, and still the best.'

Man oh man, reality shows are all over the place. People can't get enough of them. Personally, I think they are stupid and a tremendous waste of time. Except for shows like "Joe Schmoe" and other shows that basically make fun of reality tv, you will not catch me watching them. Ok, so thats not totally true. I thoroughly enjoy watching COPS.

Cops is the original reality show, and it doesn't get any more real than Cops. I am actually watching it right now, thus the inspiration for this post. One of the segments that was just on was simply amazing. A lady called needing assistance. When the officer arrived, she told him a snake just scurried into her closet. (sidenote: as I am typing this now, some black guy in a throwback Kobe Bryant jersey just got picked up for stealing some 20's. They were in his backseat. He denied taking them, then went on a rant of which I didn't understand a single word he said except for when he paused to say, "I were smokin weed.")

Anyway, back to the snake. The cop starts looking through her closet and can't find it. He then starts pulling things out. nope, still can't find it. The lady then gives the cop permission to pry up the floorboard. So he does. The next thing we see is a closet with the carpet ripped up, and all three walls with the drywall busted to hell. Still no snake. So they go to the basement, because maybe it went through the floorboards. No such luck. The cop apologizes for not finding the snake and makes his way out the door. Poor lady.

WAIT A MINUTE, as the cop is getting in the car, we hear the lady screaming. So the cop scuttles back into the house and sure enough there is the snake, sitting in the closet. The reason they didn't see it is because it was only 4 inches long. They probably did $1,000 worth of damage for a little bitty snake. Then the lady throws out this gem. "Well, if you wouldn't have found it, im sure my cat or dog would have found it and killed it.".........WHAT? If your cat or dog would have found it, why did you freak out so much and have a cop tear your house up? Personally, I think she had alterior motives, sense all she was wearing was an oversized undershirt and kept grabbing and huggin on the cop. uuuhhgghgh. well what can you expect for a middle aged single woman living with a dog and a cat.

People, you can't make this sort of thing up. THIS is reality TV at it's finest. In the same episode, some white trash of a guy got arrested for giving a fake name to cops because he had a felony warrant. When they asked why he did so, he responded, "...what? uuuh..no thats my name, it's my twin brother with the warrant." Glorious. -p.s. the guy had a crimped mullett.-

I know I am not the only one who loves this show. It was in the opening lineup for Fox when it first started, and they still make episodes today. Come one now, Cops has given us many mainstream lines such as "I wasn't driven'!", "Naaa, these are my brothers pants." and "Those aren't my drugs in that needle hanging out of my arm." Therefore, I make the argument that COPS is the greatest reality show of all time. I don't care about how maney people watched Survivor next weekend because its all about quality, not quantity. I guarantee that Survivor will be cancelled before Cops is.

Right On,
UberBrian
mankitten120@hotmail.com

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