Monday, February 13, 2006


And now, the best idea we have ever had...

UberRed and I (UberBrian) were at Wal-Mart the other day and came to the following conclusion.
All stores should have a "One Guy Lane". It's like the express lane, but is actually worth getting into. I mean honestly, how good is an express lane that is 20 items or less? How many times do you go to Wal-Mart and get more than 20 items. Anyway, there are some rules to our lane. You have to be ONE GUY.

One man can go through a checkout line 10 times faster than a woman. Let's break it down.
1. Guys empy their cart (if they even have one) like it is a race. We don't even look at the belt, we just grab and toss and don't look up until the cart is empty.

2. Guys have the method of payment ready as soon as they unload their cart. Most guys develop a small case of ADD as they watch the cashier ring them up. They have a hand of cash extended before a total is even given. The debit card is poised in the swiper thing with the other hand ready to push buttons.

3. While waiting for change, the guy grabs all of the bags with one hand, no matter how many there are, and pushes the cart away with the other hand.

BOOM transaction complete. total time? about 1 minute.

NOW, lets go through a womans line.

1. Stand in line and look at tabloids.
2. Slowly and carefully, place all items in cart one at a time.
3. Carefully watch all the prices ring up to make sure they don't get overcharged.
4. Uh-oh, this item was on sale, but rang up full price. Better call someone to get the correct price.
5. Now, she has a coupon that will save her 30 cents on a jar of tomato sauce, but since it was clipped from the paper, the UPC code is messed up.
6. Price total is given. Instead of having payment method ready, they have to dig through their purse to find the checkbook. (only women use checkbooks)
7. Write the check
8. Cashier asks for drivers license (like they do everytime), woman has to go back into the purse to find it.
9. Now, they have to load all of their bags back into their cart.
10. Finally, they are done. total time: about 7 minutes.

Clearly, this is best idea in the world.
Next, I will explain why they should have sections in restaurants called "No Babies" to go along with "No Smoking".

Right on,

Women also try to organize products on the belt on whether they belong in the freezer, refigerator, or neither. Which in our defense, comes in very handy when you are unpacking stuff.
Good point. I hope you don't find you need to "defend" yourself, as I wasn't trying of "offend". I just find it humorous how men and woman contrast so greatly on such little things.

Definitely no offense taken. Maybe "defense" was the wrong word. Maybe justification would have been better.
There is more that can be added to the man checkout. I am a little confused on your ONE MAN comment. A group of 10 guys would still be faster than 1 woman.

1) only things that guys need should be put around the checkout so no tabloids. things like a small fridge of meat, fridge of beer, and slim jims.

2) Only the most skilled cashiers would be allowed to work there along with a committed bag boy.

3) NO ATEMPT at making any small talk at all will be tolerated. A smiple "hello" and "thanks" or "Have a nice day." is all that needs to be exchanged. I dont know you nor will I remember you! Now there is one exception, if you are an atractive cashier... you can talk.

thats all i can think of right now, but i am sure there can be more to be done. Now for the ladies, I am not saying that you are wrong in your approach, i am just saying that men and women are different. To you having things seperated is more important than saving 5 min. If I can be in a store less than 4 min. and have an entire meal for 4, i really feel like i have climbed Mt. Everest or ate a bowl of captin crunch without cutting the top of my mouth.

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