Sunday, March 05, 2006

 

Best Lines from Brokeback (Deleted Scenes)

We found a script on the internet for Brokeback Mountain. There was a bunch of stuff they cut out, I guess due to time constraints. We thought we would share these lines with you.

You want a dip of this skoal before we...you know...do it?

Man, it’s not as smooth as I thought it would be
Hell, man, lube it up with that spit from the spittoon

I love the way your spurs dig into my side

The moon makes your eyes sparkle like my belt buckle
ah, I bet you say that to all your gay cowboy lovers.

Do these wranglers make my butt look big?
Yeah, you better take em off so we can...you know..do it.

We can’t let anyone know about us...you know...doing it.
Then we should probably stop going up together on top of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN

How come you don’t look at me when we’re...you know...doing it?

I wish I could quit you.
Don’t you mean, sodomize?

Show me your six shooter, I’ll show you mine.

I’d like to herd my cattle into your range.

Do you have any ointment. My saddle sores are hurtin something fierce.

I’m gonna lasso your longhorn.

Wife: you are a homosexual?
no I’m not, I just like to have sex with gay cowboys up on mountains.

I got these chaps for you at Eastwoods secret.

Saddle up cowboy.

Eat any cock lately?

“This T-bone steak tastes like cock”
“let me try”

I like girls too, but they don’t fuck me in the ass.


“Hey if you were to go camping and wake up with your butthole sore, would you tell anybody?”
“Haha, no probably not.”
“You want to go camping?”
“Uh?”

“You’re not going to wear those boots with those jeans are you?”

"If you touch it, it gets bigger"

"This is going to hurt the first time."

"Hey I can't stop bleeding. Is that normal?"

"Would you like some cream in your coffee?"

"What happens on Brokeback stays on brokeback"
"You mean we shouldn’t tell people we butt fucked one another?"
"Um... Yeah basically."

"Wife: Why are you walking funny?"

"Wife: HEY, that’s the wrong hole!!"
"Oh sorry I was having flashbacks."

"Hello Jack. It's been a long time."
"Yeah I know Ennis"
"You doing alright?"
"I'm doing pretty good. You?"
"I'm good. Hey you remember when I gave you a hitler?"

"I swear that's never happend to me before."
"Man you really are a quick draw."

Man, 8 seconds isn't always a good ride!

You uh....you got somethin in yer mustache there..

You want some coffee?
No thanks, I'd rather have a tea bag.

Hey man, can I borrow your bandana?
No, but I can give you a pearl necklace.

My favorite food is Brokeback Mountain Oysters.

Townsperson: You guys sure like going up there to Brokeback Mountain. What do you do up there, ride bare back?
Gay Cowboys: WHAT?
Townsperson: Ride your horses bare back?
Gay Cowboys: Oh....uh yeah....we ride our hoooorsseesss bare back. our horses of course.

I'm gonna make you a cowMAN!

If we're gonna eat, we better catch some fish
aahh, I don't have a rod
oh don't worry...I do....I do.

I like your denim vest....it would look better wadded up in the floor of my pup tent.

I'm thinkin about trying out for this band with some People in the Village.

You have a 34 waiste size? ME TOO! Lets trade Wranglers.

Uh oh, your belt buckle has some dirt on it. Don't worry, I'll get it while I'm down here.

Wife: Ennis...your mustache kinda smells like poop.

Wife: Jack? I think you and Ennis got some of your camping laundry mixed up. He called here earlier asking about your pink sock?

"Why don't you ever talk to me when were making love?"
"bler blar whar owher..."
"take that out of your mouth first"

"man is that a gun in your pants or you just happy to see me."
"i'm just happy to see you."
"...oh...??"

"when we go back down we can't tell anyone."
"why not?"
"they won't understand."
"why?"
"Because I like to put my cock in your ass."

(whiff)
whoa, did you fart or did I?

I brought the camera so we can recreate our favorite scenes from Blazing Saddles
But I've never seen that movie
Me either.

UberBrenton
UberBrian
UberRed


Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
 
Hey I think I've seen this one...
 
"I think i've seen this before."
 
u all suck
 
u all suck even more
 
no u
 
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